I promised to provide pictures of the ivy that's threatening to take over our yard (such as it is). I don't have any "before" pictures of the fence area in the BACK yard, but you can kind of see how it might have looked from this picture of the side yard. I have yet to bring the assault to the side yard.
You might notice that the ivy appears to simply be crawling over from the other side and draping down this side of the fence. NOT SO! The ivy is coming over, through and under the fence. It's embedded in the wood and the soil. The stuff on top is growing into little trees with seed pods sproinking out of them. Like aliens. Like evil aliens.When I whacked the overgrowth in the back yard, I discovered just how embedded the horrid stuff actually is. It's literally ripping the fence apart. It's difficult to see in this photo, but the main middle section of the fence is leaning significantly over into our yard from the sheer weight above it and on the other side:
Now, look just above the BBQ. This is the brain of the invading species. What else could it be? It's HUGE. Incredibly dense. Multitudinous convolutions. Really, really heavy. I tried to hack at it with pruning snips, both the big and small ones. It's nearly impossible to snip more than one strand at a time. So you snip one - it's not like you can take the snipped end and yank it out. Here's a closeup so you can see what I mean:
No wait - that's not close enough. There's a closeup below that should pretty much sum it up. That thing has been there so long, there is not a single gap between the vines. And it's all living - there's nothing brittle to dig out of there. It has to be nibbled at, bit by bit. I'm too chicken to take a chain saw to it. When the fence goes over, as it will soon by the looks of things, they're going to have to get a backhoe in there just to pick it up off the ground. Here's that super closeup:
Now, take that picture above, multiply it in your head to a size about 25 times the size of the picture - probably more - and you might get some idea of what is living on our fence in our backyard.
Who does this?? Who lets ivy grow so long unchecked that it can evolve like this? Clearly, this has been going on for some time. I appreciate the suggestions I've received about how to slay the monster. Honestly, I'm afraid to do so. I have no faith in either my landlord or my neighbors to deal with the carcass and the aftermath. I'm pretty certain that the only thing holding the fence up at this point is the ivy itself. Dead, it becomes just weight that will bring what's left of the fence down even faster. No thanks. Let the next chump who rents this dump negotiate with my absentee landlord about taking care of the evil ivy alien monster brain.
My good friend, Jesse, has decided that the Bay Area is a difficult place in which to start over and is going home to Texas. He's right, you know. Home prices are through the roof, traffic is horrific, jobs and careers end without notice, and new ones are difficult to find. It's not impossible (obviously, or this area would be deserted); it just takes a certain amount and type of effort to keep afloat here.
So, I'm terribly sad that he's leaving. He's been a sort of grandfather to my son, who loves him very much. He's been a stout friend to me. Life around here just won't be the same.
Who in their right mind uses English Ivy for a landscaping tool? Well, OK, OK, there are large areas that often need erosion control or cheap landscaping. With regular maintenance, you can sort of keep it under control.
What I'm talking about is small yards, as in residential, and frackin' ENORMOUS English Ivy growth. This is the second time I've had to deal with some previous owner/tenant's bad idea of planting this vile weed - both times it was a neighbor who planted the stuff.
This time, the infestation has gone unchecked for apparently a very long time. The first time I attempted to whack back the vines coming over the fence, I was certain the only thing holding the fence up was the vine itself. The awful ivy has very nearly destroyed the fence entirely. It's leaning quite dramatically into our yard and has obviously rotted planks where the vine was thickest. At one point I pulled out a nearly perfectly preserved garter snake carcass. From the noise in there at night, I'm sure possums and rats feel right at home there.
I got tired, that first time, and gave up without approaching the forest growing atop the fence. So, recently, when I resumed battle against the enemy, I had better tools and....a ladder. I'm whacking away up there when I get to the section of the fence that's leaning sharply due to the great weight on top of it. Under the leaves I find the ivy creature's brain. It's the only explanation I can give for the heavily - and I mean heavily - intertwined ivy. It's vaguely roundish and roughly the size of couple of king size pillows. It must be heavy - there's nothing in there but stem. No leaves or air pockets.
I have taken a stab at it, but I've only made a minor dent. I think I need to post a picture of this thing, so stay tuned for pictures. I gave up! It got dark and I just can't imagine the tools I'd need to go at it. I'm afraid a chain saw would skip and jump and generally be dangerous. Right now, the only option I see is a sharp axe. Then, I'm concerned that the impact up there would crumple the fence below - right on top of me and my ladder.
It finally occurred to me that the whole thing, while technically my problem to deal with, was NOT my problem to cure. The lazy landlord will eventually have to get off her tushy and rip the fence down, destroy the vine and rebuild the fence. So, until we move out, all I need do is whack the growth back regularly and put up with how ugly it is.
One other thing I discovered in my most recent assault was that my neighbor from whom all things viney issue, originally covered the entire side of his fence with chicken wire. Presumably to encourage the stuff to grow. It boggles the mind.
For the last several years, Halloween has been a disappointment to me. It's one of my favorite holidays and I enjoy all the hoopla surrounding it. In the time that I've lived here in Silicon Valley, the only Halloween spirits I saw were at the parties I attended. On those Halloween nights I was actually at home, the trick or treaters were far and few between. It is very disappointing to dress up your home to entertain/frighten/amuse potential trick or treaters, only to have a half dozen, or two, or less arrive to partake of your carefully selected goodies. It's even worse when, in the totally bizarre situation we had last year, you have NONE.
(What is it about that anyway? Do I choose neighborhoods to live in that are Halloween-free zones, and no one thought to share that with me? Is it the cultural or socio-economical zone I inhabit? I know it's not endemic, because in the days following Halloween, my co-workers share trick or treating stories and candy with me. Do I smell funny? [don't answer that...] Is my boyfriend too scary? Who knows?! Maybe it's the pumpkins.... This picture is of this year's set at our house.)
I was bound and determined to be a part of the trick or treating this year. Knowing that nothing was going to happen at our house, Don, Gabe and I went to Los Gatos to join the trick or treating throngs that swarm the residential streets. (I learned about it online.) We got there around 7:00 pm and headed out. Gabe was quite uncertain, initially, and refused to say his sweet little "trickortreat!" to the first several people whose homes we approached. In fact, some homes he refused to approach because they were too scary. When would come up to a door that wasn't too scary, he would hide his face against my shoulder and say, "no!" quite loudly. Thank goodness, he almost always said, "thank you" despite all that.
After about the fourth house, he about had a fit. I guess I didn't prepare him well enough for what he was going to experience and he was upset at all the activity and strangeness. He started demanding to open one of the candies he had just received - he didn't know that putting these packages into his jack-o-lantern basket meant that he could have some later. All he saw was that he was given a shiny, sparkly, crinkly neat-o thing and had to immediate put it out of sight! So, I called a break and sat him down on the curb. He got to open one of the candies and eat it. Quel surprise, he became quite enthusiastic about going up to the homes of total strangers and demanding, "Trick or Treat!" It took a few tries to get the whole ritual trained into him, but by about halfway through the night, he was marching down the sidewalk, firmly holding mommy's or daddy's hand, announcing, "Next house!"
Needless to say, we had a good Halloween. What did you all do for Halloween this year?
You might notice that the ivy appears to simply be crawling over from the other side and draping down this side of the fence. NOT SO! The ivy is coming over, through and under the fence. It's embedded in the wood and the soil. The stuff on top is growing into little trees with seed pods sproinking out of them. Like aliens. Like evil aliens.
No wait - that's not close enough. There's a closeup below that should pretty much sum it up. That thing has been there so long, there is not a single gap between the vines. And it's all living - there's nothing brittle to dig out of there. It has to be nibbled at, bit by bit. I'm too chicken to take a chain saw to it. When the fence goes over, as it will soon by the looks of things, they're going to have to get a backhoe in there just to pick it up off the ground. Here's that super closeup:
